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Beauty Divine
Beauty Divine
By The Advice Diva
Published September 2005
The
quest for beauty, age defiance and physical enhancement
are at an all time high. The beauty industry,
comprised of simple salons to mega-corporate giants,
pulls in billions of dollars annually. People
are obsessed with making themselves beautiful
and more attractive for their own personal satisfaction
and so others can see them they want to be seen.
Not only do people search for ways to enhance
themselves, but they also seek beauty and attraction
in other things, most notably a dating partner.
Some people might conclude
that canvassing the importance of beauty in the
dating world is a bit gratuitous. We all know
its out there and it can even be considered nature's
cruelest form of sexual selection. You either
have it or you don't. However, I think it is a
poignant topic of consideration whether you are
just now entering the dating realm or you have
been in it for years and whether you are male
or female. Today's society places heavy weight
on good looks in the work place and in social
scenes. You can't escape it and you can not deny
it. Amidst growing liberties, democracy, the abolition
of racial and religious oppression and the rising
demand for an open mind one would naturally assume
that our advanced culture would not treat certain
individuals better simply because of advantageous
genetic facial features. But we all know that
this is the furthest from the truth. We see it
every day.
Doctor Nancy Etcoff, a faculty
member of Harvard University and a psychologist
at Massachusetts General Hospital, has beautifully
illustrated the ageless hunt for beauty in her
book Survival of the Prettiest. I was enthralled
with the hundreds of references throughout history
Dr. Etcoff found and adapted to the importance
of beauty. One of the most interesting ones involved
Eleanor Roosevelt. When asked if she had any regrets
she remarked that she only wished she had been
prettier. To hear a statement such as this coming
from a heroine to women everywhere, it makes one
want to examine why and how being beautiful or
handsome plays such a dubious role in our every
day lives. As Dr. Etcoff examines this very thought
further in her book, I think it would be best
if we just accept our idealistic qualities and
move on to facing them.
When it comes down to selecting
new single men and women we choose to date, our
very first assessment of the potential mate is
based on looks. Most people will say that they
are looking for more profound qualities such as
character, motivation, sensitivity, a commonality
in activities, beliefs and a sense of humor and
that looks, although important, are not at the
top of the list. Of course everyone wants to feel
as if he or she had more noble intents in mind.
And although this may be true, nature tends to
sway our first choice. Psychological tests upon
tests show that we all gravitate towards the more
attractive person at first. This is not something
that we can readily help, nor can we consider
it malevolent behavior. It is simply programmed
into us from commercials, magazine ads, celebrities
and more. It is a learned responsive behavior.
While not everyone looks like Naomi Campbell or
Brad Pitt and there are only a few genetic anomalies
in this world who apparently represent what we
all should look like, we can all take steps and
measures to improve the way we look and how we
appear to others. It is the very first rule in
dating!
The first person you need
to impress is yourself. When you look good you
feel good. Take advantage of what modern science
has created in the field of beauty. From getting
the basic proper shampoo and conditioner for you
hair to hair regrowth products and surgery, from
makeup to enhance your features to elective surgery
for more dramatic effects. Your wardrobe should
be a priority issue as well. If you are still
showing up at the door to pick up your date in
those same ripped jeans you have had since the
1980's, think about a complete wardrobe overhaul.
Getting in shape is an absolute must. Not only
does it show that you care about your body, it
is essential for your health and it will help
you to feel great physically and emotionally.
The better you feel about yourself, the more confident
you will appear. And confidence is a very sexy
and appealing part of your overall appearance.
In her book Dr. Etcoff assumes
that people, mostly men, are more attracted to
beautiful people for short term relationships
while beauty is less important when seeking a
committed relationship. However, it is that attractive
quality of sex appeal which will get you in the
door. When you are just getting to know people
for dating purposes such as with the use of online
dating resources, your appearance is going to
be one of the most compelling forces in attracting
dates. Everyone wants someone to fall in love
with them for the right reasons, but you can't
change basic human instinct and the natural affinity
for beauty. You don't have to be the most beautiful
or most handsome person in the room, but you can
take the time and effort to look the best you
possibly can.
Copyright 2005 by Advice
Through Experience. For more information visit
http://www.advicediva.com
For questions and comments contact The
Advice Diva at: thediva@advicediva.com Please visit www.advicediva.com
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