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Breasts and Yoga Don't Mix
By S.D. Craig
Published December 2001

Breasts and yoga do not mix. Ask me how I know this?  A clever reader would know the answer to that question. 

In recent months, since meeting Rodney Yee a la Oprah's show, the thought of yoga once again crossed my mind.  I've been considering this form of stretching and exercise for many decades, but never got serious about trying it.

You must know, for the sake of this article, that I moved to the county where Raquel Welch was born, at the tender and impressionable age of sixteen. 

Yes, she was Miss Fairest of the Fair, and so on.  With a body like that, every teenaged girl in San Diego envied her, even after the shock of finding out she was the first 'real movie star' that had a breast enlargement operation.  Wow.  Was that a shocker.  We didn't even know you could do that.  And then we began to wonder, if ours didn't grow, could we do this, too?

Unfortunately for some, they grew too well.  And too far out.  And too heavy.  Our shoulders ached, our bras weren't as attractive as those less well-endowed, we were at risk when we ran or did jumping jacks.  I was lucky enough not to encounter this problem until I gained weight later in life.  But now I know.

Yoga and breasts do not mix.

The purchase of several yoga tapes was a study of a few weeks.  Rodney Yee's AM and PM Yoga videos were advised.  Then another was added from a Costco best buy.  Marilyn somebody or other.  Okay.  It was all set then.  A go.  Couldn't back out now.  I told the husband just to ensure this.  Once I speak something out loud, I'm one of those ones who must follow through whenever possible.  Was it possible?

Who knew.

A week into A.M. Yoga, listening to Rodney Yee's mesmerizing voice and stretching our bodies, folding them over in ways we never knew existed, we realized we needed tools.  The tools of the trade.  $90 plus bucks was plunked out.  We had to go through with this now, didn't we?  We were indebted to yoga. 

Wow.  We are cool now.  We have matching purple mats, purple bricks to lean on, and straps (washable, whew) to use when flexibility isn't yet an option.  Lordie me, the thought of it all made my muscles ache. 

We begin anew, tools in place, practicing with them for the first time.  I realize Rodney never had to bend in half with breasts.  He's well-toned and has a body to make a warrior green with envy, but not a curvy chest in sight.  Lucky him.  Marilyn, well, she's like a lot of yoga women.  Not full up top.  Not that I mind that, being green with envy myself some days.  These exercises are meant for them --  those as flexible as Gumby, and as toned as a runner.  With no chests to speak of. 

Sweat trickles down my brow, even under the bandana swabbed around it to catch the same.  Grimace on my face, I try to continue to breathe as I do upside-down dog poses, cobbler's poses, mountain poses.  Breathe.  Calmly.  Relaxation.  Meditate.  Breathe. 

Only it turns to gasp, choke, cough in my case.  My husband looks at me and I snap, "Well, Rodney never had to do yoga with a pair of 40 C's on his chest, did he?"  Smirk. 

I am convinced that as I tone up, slim some portions down more, I can attempt to be like Marilyn and Rodney.  Full figured women do this.  I know they do.  Look at Raquel.  Did she keep that figure by skipping out on yoga all her life?  No.  Go see "Tortilla Soup" and you'll know what I mean.

The girl can bend.  Breasts and all.  I'm e-mailing her for her secrets.

About the writer: SD Craig is a freelance writer and editor of LovingYourCurves.com and was given the nickname "Chatterbox" by fellow writers. At age fifty, Craigs Southern flair and sense of humor give her plenty to write about with a rapier wit and a wacky outlook. Her articles on body image (her biggest passion), marriage/divorce and relationships, family, friends, career issues, computers, the Internet, horses, baseball, movie reviews and writing tips remind one of Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry. A freelance writer who once juggled five columns then got real, Craig welcomes your e-mails and feedback on her articles. Drop her a hello at sdcraig922@yahoo.com or stop by www.lovingyourcurves.com.

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