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Fuck My Face? Please
By Lauri Jean Crowe

(c) 2002, Lauri Jean Crowe
Published November 2002

"I'm naked, lying flat on my back crossways on the bed. My neck's supported by the edge of the mattress and I'm breathing in shallow gasps between thrusts. My nostrils are buried deep in his balls, balls that are slapping against my forehead and sending off that intoxicating smell of him. My hair is trailing on the floor, whooshing back and forth. Back and forth. This is when I feel truly alive. When he's fucking my face. I know I'm really pleasing him, and all I have to do is lay there, throat relaxed and wait for him to get off. It's even better when he shoots across my chest. That climax makes me feel special, all his warmth spreading across my breasts. I've always had small breasts, so it makes them seem important somehow." - Sharon, 32, defense attorney.

Now, I know a lot of women who would be offended if their lover walked up to them and said, "I want to fuck your face". They would feel as if they were being depersonalized, made into an object. However, Sharon, and many women like her who hold high stress positions in the work force where they consistently have to be in control, often like to relinquish it in the bedroom.

While Sharon says she wouldn't necessarily like the language coming from her own mates mouth, it's the action she appreciates, "I come home from yet another 10 or 12 hour day, on my feet, in court and the last thing I want to do is please someone sexually. I don't want to have to be thinking about which way to twist my tongue, or rotate my pelvis. I don't want to think, okay, am I getting him off? I just want to veg out, relax and be taken care of. Fortunately I've found a man who knows exactly what I need, and my lack of active involvement is what's pleasing to him. I don't mind being used as an object, because I don't see it that way.

We're both getting what we want. I get to relax, be passive, and feel sexy, the total focus of his needs and desires, yet at the same time I'm satisfied and satisfying him. So, is it okay for women to be passive in the bedroom? Sure, as long as they've actively made the decision to do so and communicated it to their mate. When it becomes a problem is when both parties needs aren't being met. Sharon related that with a prior lover she had such difficulties.

"He just didn't understand my need to be passive, my need to simply be fucked, taken, ravaged almost willingly raped at times. He thought that because I was this successful lawyer by day with a classic type A personality that I would be aggressive in bed as well. And some days I am aggressive, I'd rip his clothes off and surprise the hell out of him, but most days I wanted to be the one with torn buttons. I tried to explain to my last lover that I needed that release, with someone else being aggressive after a day in the courts, but he just couldn't understand. So, I moved on."

Sharon's related that she's found some of the men who understand her needs most are those who have desk jobs, and she thinks it's the contrast that works.

"I'm in a career where I have to be the aggressor in the courtroom. It's very demanding, and often someone's life depends on my performance. So, I want the reverse in bed most days. However, men who sit at a desk all day doing business by fax and phone or computer work don't have that confrontation with people. They often need an aggressive, more physical outlet to their lives. If they aren't into racquetball or some other form of sport, usually their wilder sides come out in the bedroom. I've found that I don't seek out cops, or firemen anymore. I use to think because they put their lives on the line every day they'd be more alive in bed. But, give me a computer geek any day. My current lover is a programmer, and we're perfect for one another."

Perhaps, you should look beyond the language, and think about the need behind the words. Perhaps its not something you'd want to engage in every day, but maybe it's the start of a new sexual adventure in which you can meet someone else's need and simply relax. Don't see yourself as an object, see yourself like Sharon does, "the total focus of his needs and desires".

Writer:
Lauri Jean Crowe is a freelance writer known for such diverse topics as dreams, sexuality, gardening, health and parenting. She is a freelance writer, artist and designer living in Michigan, USA. Lauri Jean welcomes feedback at vu-writer@earthlink.net and is seeking serious individuals who wish to be interviewed about all aspects of sexuality.

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