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Giants
A Comparison of Giants
The Modern SUV
versus the American Seventies Car
By Jeffrey
the Barak
Published May 2004
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| 2004 Toyota Sequoia SUV |
1974 Cadillac Coupe de
Ville |
In
the early 1980's Americans bought little Toyotas,
Hondas, BMW's etc. in such numbers that many of
the manufacturers begin building them right here
in America. The buyers of these cars developed
a severe distaste for the enormous cars that Detroit
had produced from the mid-sixties to the late-seventies
and beyond.
Ironically, the retirees
who bought their last new cars in the giant years
were becoming older and smaller inside those cars,
so for a while in the big cities of America it
was a common sight to see a tiny old person squeezing
through ever more crowded parking lots in a giant
Buick with an impatient youngster trapped behind
them in a little imported BMW or Nissan.
Beginning in the 1990's,
the same people that equated the old American
giants with the Devil began to buy cars that were
in many ways just as big. They bought SUV's.
Now an SUV (Sport Utility
Vehicle) is a strange beast. Designed mainly for
crossing unpaved land in any weather at low speed
without getting stuck in the mud, they are now
used simply as cars. They don't drive off the
road, they don't get muddy and they generally
contain nothing more than the driver and a load
of fuel in the tank.
Even though the majority
of SUV's are trucks with additional bodywork and
luxury interiors and are much harder to control
in extreme situations than modern passenger cars,
people who buy them feel safe and protected by
their sheer bulk. But let's face it, there's always
something bigger and heavier out there. You can
never out-bulk a bus, an eighteen-wheeler or a
cement truck with your SUV, but you are more likely
to avoid them in a nimble, controllable modern
car.
So the question arises,
what is the difference between a modern giant,
and an old giant? What is the difference between
a Seventies car and an SUV? In this lighthearted
comparison, I forgo responsible research for unadulterated
opinion.
Before I dive into my unscientific
comparison, let me set the stage with some wheelbase
figures. In many cases the 70's cars protruded
farther fore and aft of their wheelbases than
do the SUV's, and they had wider body-widths at
the beltline, but I didn't find out overall length
and width dimensions for this article, just a
few wheelbases.
| 106.3 |
2004 |
Nissan |
Pathfinder |
4 Door
SUV |
| 117 |
1971 |
Plymouth |
Satellite |
4 Door
Sedan |
| 121 |
1978 |
Ford |
LTD |
4 Door
Sedan |
| 121.5 |
1971 |
Chevrolet |
Impala |
4 Door
Sedan |
| 123.5 |
1972 |
Pontiac |
Catalina |
4 Door
Sedan |
| 127 |
1970 |
Buick |
Electra |
4 Door
Sedan |
| 129 |
1975 |
Chevrolet |
Suburban |
4 Door
SUV |
| 130 |
2004 |
Chevrolet |
Suburban |
4 Door
SUV |
| 137.1 |
2004 |
Ford |
Excursion |
4 Door
SUV |
Giant versus Giant
Which is safer, a modern
SUV or a Seventies car? A modern SUV is much safer
than a big old car for many reasons. Mainly, three
decades of painful and deadly research has given
us proper seat belts and all kinds of airbags
and crush zones that add protection to the vehicle
occupants in the event of a crash. And crash avoidance
is surely better in a modern SUV than it was in
the old land barge. But here's the thing, crash
avoidance is not the strong point of SUV's compared
to modern passenger cars.
Sadly SUV's are more likely
to fail to avoid a crash than modern cars, and
they are more likely to roll over, causing spinal
injuries to the occupants. But if you are going
to crash, better in an SUV than in a '73 Oldsmobile.
The modern SUV's certainly
drink a lot of fuel compared to smaller cars that
could convey the occupants from place to place
just as well, but the old cars often returned
figures of ten to the gallon, which was bad enough
when gas cost 35 to 85 cents in the Seventies,
but at two dollars and up? Forget about it!
Can anyone remember what
the air smelled like when you were stuck in traffic
on a hot day in 1972? It would take a fleet of
clean-burning Ford Explorers to mess up the planet
as much as one old car. Not to say we should ban
old cars though. It's beautiful to see the occasional
classic grinding along, and one or two old Smokies
here and there is acceptable for that reason.
It was not until the 21st
Century that American car and truck makers finally
began to understand that head restraints should
be high, and more importantly, should be right
behind the head. Foreign vehicle makers realized
this years ago. When you get rear ended, the head
restraint is supposed to stop your head from going
back, the cause of whiplash. Sad to say even my
own 2000 Dodge Stratus has head restraints that
are way back behind the head. If I ever get rear-ended,
I'll get whiplash. In the Seventies they were
not only too far back, they were very low and
in fact they acted as neck-snapping fulcrums in
many cases.
Most modern SUV's have head
restraints that are actually where they should
be; behind the head. Especially the non-American
SUV's!
One good thing about SUV's,
they are essentially giant station wagons. They
don't call them station wagons because its bad
marketing and most young people have never even
been to a station, let alone in a wagon. Anyway,
if you have a table, a bicycle or half a dozen
coffins that you want to move, you can open the
tailgate of your SUV, drop the seats and slide
in the big item. It will even stay dry in the
rain.
The big seventies cars were
sometimes station wagons, but more often they
were sedans or enormous coupes. You could often
get three people in the front and three in the
back, but the large trunks were designed for suitcases
and groceries, not tables. Some old coupes were
bigger than most modern SUV's but had two cramped
rear seats and limited height in the trunk. The
size was not functional.
The American giants were
all notorious for poor build quality and consequently
more were sent to the junkyard crusher than were
maintained or restored. As they become more and
more rare in the new era, they will become more
collectable and take their place beside the beautiful
rolling art of the Fifties and other decades.
It is unlikely anyone will
ever collect or show old SUV's in the future,
but you never know. If they become extinct due
to fuel prices or new regulations or some kind
of sensible revolution, they'll also become collectable.
If you never experienced
a ride in a full-size, mid-Seventies American
car with a huge engine, you have missed out on
a 20th Century treat. The bounce, the torque thrust
that twists the car when you stomp on the gas,
the (up to) 8.2 liters of thirsty, stinky, all-American
muscle, the fingertip power steering, the tire
squeal, the four girls in the back seat, (huh?),
all combine to make a uniquely American experience.
An evening of cruising that burns as much fuel
as a week of commuting in Europe and without even
a hint of effective emissions control.
One of my favorite things
to do in a full size Seventies car is to stop
the car in drive and then gently ease on and off
the brake pedal until the front end bounces up
and down as if it had hydraulics. As I write this
I am yearning for a ride in really big light-metallic-green
one!
But the modern SUV also
provides a fun ride. Not taking into account what
they were actually designed for, if you just use
it as a giant station wagon and keep to the asphalt,
it's fun to look down on other cars and you do
feel protected, even though you are not. Plus
the exhilaration that you get from flashing visions
of life in a wheelchair every time you steer a
quick left-right-left on the freeway and inadvertently
get two wheels off the road and into space for
a moment…
Let's face it, neither the
land barge of old or the SUV of today is a sensible
vehicle. If you really want to rise above, you
don't need axle height; you just need any good
modern passenger car. But when it comes to cruising,
sensible can be a bad thing.
Jeffrey the Barak is
the publisher of the-vu and used to be a car enthusiast,
owning a '55 Chevy as a "daily-driver"
for a few years.
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