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Sex> Losing My
Cherry
Losing My Cherry
By Lauri Jean
Crowe
Published February 2001
Losing your cherry. This isn’t a matter
of it falling off the spoon of your ice
cream sundae, it’s about losing your
virginity. It’s about the first time
you have penetrative sex. It’s about
being a teenager or a young adult. It’s
about being scared and fascinated and for
me it was about curiosity and boredom. I
was a late bloomer. Although most of my
friends were having sex from middle school
on, some of those accompanied by teen pregnancies,
I didn’t even think about boys, or
girls.
In my first year of college I didn’t
think much about sex either. But it apparently
thought about me a lot, whispering in the
minds of my dorm mates and men at the clubs
where I danced with my friends. Finally,
at nineteen I decided to “do it”.
I’m not sure why, I was just kind of
bored and curious – two reasons which
aren’t especially good for having sex.
I also wanted to see what all the hype was
about, and have it over with. The big deal
of virginity suddenly became a burden and
I wanted it over with. But, having no steady
relationship I had no idea how to go about
it. I was naïve, half the time I didn’t
even know that men were interested in me
until jealous girlfriends would approach
me full claws ready for a fight.
However, one Thursday night I simply had
sex. I was at the bar with some of my friends,
most of whom were male. Bonz, our resident
stoner was there, and Craig the guy who
played drums and lived in my dorm, Rick
who I played gin rummy with when I was too
drunk to care that I didn’t know how,
Killer who was so named because he was such
a meek and wimpy fellow, and then there
was Dave. Dave was the new guy, one of Bonz
friends from his fraternity and who liked
to dance as much as I did. We had been drinking
quarter beers for almost two hours and INXS
came on playing “What You Need”.
Cheesy as that song was, Dave and I hobbled
out on the dance floor and danced to it
and suddenly he pulled me down and kissed
me. Now, when I say pulled me down I mean
literally to the floor because I’ almost
six foot two and he was maybe five foot
six on tippy toe. Still, it felt good.
We didn’t finish the dance but soon
went home because they cut off the quarter
beer and we were buzzed enough as it was.
In the car, Dave kept flirting with me,
pawing at me and when he ended up getting
out with Craig and I we just ended up in
my room on the daybed kissing. Next thing
you know, clothes are on the floor and I
realize that my roommate Wendy who’s
been watching TV had decided to go into
the other room. Poor Wendy, the girl who
had so much facial hair she actually had
a beard had to be privy to my drunken first
lust.
Sex was awkward. He was very short and I
was very tall and we were both drunk. Mainly
I recall flailing around a lot, laughing
and kissing. We at some point ended up in
the bathroom because my other roommate Ronda
had come back from the bar and couldn’t
locate her keys. We let her in and locked
ourselves in the bathroom where we somehow
managed actual penetration up against the
bathroom sink. From that point it was a
few thrusts and it was over in seeming minutes
although my roommates later told me we made
quite a racket for over an hour. It was
unprotected sex. When we were finished we
got dressed, he gave me his number, promised
to call and he left. I went across the hall
to play cards with some friends and in the
middle of an excellent had of Euchre announced
that I had just had sex for the first time.
There were drunk too and thought this was
incredibly funny. We laughed about it and
I voiced that it was no big deal, and was
I missing something because it hadn’t
seemed that great although it felt good
enough. This brought more laughter. Later
all of us dormies were out at a party and
I saw Dave. He wondered why I was avoiding
him and hadn’t answered his calls.
I told him it just wasn’t that great
for me. He was stunned and kept asking people
for months if I was pregnant or something,
because he just couldn’t get why I
wasn’t calling him back.
I hope that others out there have had better
first experiences with sex and didn’t
just do it because they were bored. I hope
there still exists the quaint couple who
get to be each others first partners and
experience the mysteries of sex through
sober, loving eyes. For me, it was no big
deal which I suppose in some ways worked
in my favor. I didn’t become the promiscuous
dorm girl that many of my friends did doing
everyone in the dorm. I actually held off
having sex for almost another year until
I was in a loving relationship and that’s
when I found what I truly enjoy about sex
which is the partnership of the act.
Looking back I don’t regret that first
time, but I do wish I had been smarter.
I was lucky. I came away from it unscathed,
with no sexually transmissible disease;
no pregnancy, no after effects except a
great game of Euchre which wasn’t uncommon
for me anyhow. Others out there aren’t
so lucky. If you’re thinking about
having sex for the first time, think hard,
don’t just think about his hardness
or her softness. Think with your mind, not
your loins. Sex does have consequences and
your first time will no doubt place a certain
image of sex in your mind which will hold
through in your other relationships. Be
careful. Be aware. Be sober. But, most of
all don’t give that cherry to the first
spoon that comes along ready to taste your
forbidden fruits.
Writer:
Lauri Jean Crowe is a freelance writer known
for such diverse topics as dreams, sexuality,
gardening, health and parenting. She is
a freelance writer, artist and designer
living in Michigan, USA. Lauri Jean welcomes
feedback at vu-writer@earthlink.net and
is seeking serious individuals who wish
to be interviewed about all aspects of sexuality.
To learn more about this writer and her
diverse skills follow these links
The
Living Herbal
Managing
Editor, Customs, Etiquette, Folklore
Contributing
Editor, The Art & Science of Dreams
Short
Story Editor at Mocha Memoirs
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